NPGHP - Mindfulness
A little time of quiet.
Welcome to the latest in the Normal Persons Guide to High Performance (the NPGHP). As mentioned in the intro to this series, I wanted to share some of my learning and practice that keeps me rolling.
I would say I’ve been a meditator on most days for about 6 or 7 years? I cannot remember when I started…but to be honest it doesn’t really matter. It is something that I have kept coming back to and that I try to stick to most days.
Mindfulness or meditation has become something that is often referred to as one of these silver-bullet life-changing wellbeing tools, again with whole books written about the topic. And it is a practice that is steeped in history being a part of some of our most ancient human cultures (often under another term).
Today, I just want to break down what I do. I am not a guru! That said, I would encourage you all to give this a go and once again, stick at it as the habit is where the benefits are.
The Practice
Mindfulness or meditation basically means sitting with your thoughts. It is usually completed as a structured practice and the aim is that you will feel a little better, or different, after you’ve done your time.
So, what does a practice look like?
There are a bunch of key things that most mindfulness exercises have from my experience:
An entry - this is starting the practice and the on-ramp from your ‘real world’ to the exercise.
Slowing down - closing eyes, deep breathing, calming the body.
Focus, scanning or visualisation - the exercise
The exit - the off-ramp back to the ‘real world’.
In essence, your mindfulness aims to be a contrast to your every day life that you can anchor to. It is a skill that you reach for during your days - this starts consciously (e.g. the ‘three breaths’) and then the science tells us that it more broadly translates to things more unconsciously (e.g. reduced anxiety, lower stress etc).
And the daily mindfulness time that it takes to make that bigger difference is likely a lot less than you think…
Time and Place
Say the word ‘meditation’ and people immediate go to the cross-legged, eyes-closed person sitting for long periods of time. Not so!
10-12 minutes per day makes a difference to wellbeing.
The number above came from Peak Mind by Amishi Jha referring to a study on servicemen and women returning from conflict. The 10mins seems to be a bit of a sweet spot in lots of books. Of course it is likely that more is better, however my experience is that the frequency is probably more important than the duration. I aim for 10mins most days. I occasionally miss a day and like a good habit I aim to never miss twice.
I do most of my meditations as the first thing I do in the morning after waking up and before exercise. Sometimes it is before starting work if I am at home. I’ve also meditated in the evening before bed which is a great way to wind down. Like all good habits, start by aiming for the same time most of the time. You can always add more sessions if you like it.
A lot of meditations refer to sitting, and quite often mean literally sitting. The logic of this is that it is an active position with you holding your body upright with some muscles engaged. I actually do most of my meditations lying down which I find easier to quiet my mind. I sometimes throw a jacket or blanket over myself to feel comfortable. You can also do mindfulness while walking! Location and position is another thing to play around with.
The Key Components
I’ve enjoyed learning some basic stuff from guided meditations in apps (see more below) and can highly recommend a starter such as this from Headspace if you’re curious.
Blue Sky and Clouds
A key principle of mindfulness is that our minds are naturally quiet in the background, like the analogy of a blue sky. I always think of that moment when you’re on a plane and you ascend above the weather and it’s always sunny and clear.
And then the human thinking stuff comes in - whether that is stories, ruminating, chewing over something or emotions. There are like clouds passing by. It could be dark and stormy (lots of clouds), or more like a summer day with the odd random cloud rolling by.
Noting and Equanimity
Meditations use a technique called noting for things like thoughts or feeling. In essence, this is the way of getting separation from your thinking like you are third-person. I love the analogy (thanks headspace) of you sitting and watching a busy highway with cars passing by; the cars being the thoughts or feelings. If you are truly separated, it’s like sitting on a hill and calling out what you see all detached from the cars themselves. If you are trying to cross the busy road then it is a different story….
Another interesting concept is called equanimity which is calmness and composure. In meditation it is about finding a balance of focus and attention, as well as not overdoing this to be hooked and overthinking. That may sound all woo-woo, but it is actually right at the heart of it. The concept of flow talks about being engaged and being free in the moment.
Focus (Scanning or Visualisation)
Most guided meditations use an object of focus. It is quite often the breath and more particularly one component of the breath like your chest rising and falling, the warm air entering your body or the sound. The object is the thing that you are playing around with focussing, but not over focussing. Other common objects are a sensation like a touchpoint, where your body contacts the ground or even a noise. It literally can be anything. For a focus-type meditation, you just keep coming back to your focus point. That is the practice - every time something distracts you (like a thought or a feeling) you come back to your focus. You can simply name the distraction too to keep it abstract.
Other common meditations are scanning ones (where you notice different parts of the body like an x-ray scanner going up and down) and visualisation ones where you can recall times when you felt happy, or imagine some abstract things like a beam of warm light that expands to fill your body. I’ve directed my breath and calmness to an injury for days on end…. There are so many options.
I have some vivid memories of favourite meditations that I can recall just being totally immersed in. It’s all practice.
Good and Bad
Only Tibetan monks are Tibetan monks… You will not likely be one, ever.
A truism of meditation is that it is a practice. And that you need to practise. And, not surprisingly, its practicing that makes you better at it.
Everyday is different. And that is ok. In fact it is normal.
And here is my biggest aha moment - not every day will be a good day. Some days are better than others. Some days your mind is all over the place and thinking about what is on your to do list, that annoying sound or how sore your shoulder is. And then it is over. Some days will be awesome! If you have a crappy meditation don’t stress, you get to do it again tomorrow.
Give yourself the tick for practising because that what matters.
Every Day Life
OK, with all this mindfulness stuff Seán, what has changed?
The biggest thing for me is noticing. I feel a lot more attuned to my body and sensations, and noting when things are shifting.
I can also take something like my breath and latch onto a sensation when I need to. I’ve found this helps me notice when I’m getting wound up at something (a old hangup of mine) and it gives me a tool to use when I’m nervous, say before a race or presentation. I just seem to notice things in more depth which allows me to make decisions about how to respond.
The second big benefit is just an overall sense of calm. Maybe I’m older and more chilled out (quite likely) but I seem to find that the quietness and being alone with my thoughts is actually quite a pleasant experience when your brain isn’t racing all over the place. I’ll talk about this with technology in a future blog. I feel that I am more calm more often, which allows me to take in more of the world whether that is noticing things in nature or just being a bit more present with people.
I still have ‘monkey-brain’ days. And now I have some tools.
Some Apps and Books
I’ve enjoyed exploring different apps for mindfulness. I still use guided activities most of the time, most often using apps. More recently I’ve started to just put a timer on my watch for ten minutes and try do something myself.
Anyway, I highly recommend the apps as a starter, as long as they aren’t just a gateway to more screentime :-)
The go-to’s are Calm and Headspace. I’ve used both and I often switch year to year to take advantage of a discount (they love to woo you back if you leave…or just find a code on the internet somewhere!) They also have great trial or welcome offers and people can gift you a month normally. Just let me know if you want a free trial.
The biggest downside of the big apps is that they can be repetitive and the people leading the meditations can get on your nerves if you hear too much of them. Play around and find a voice you love. My favourite is Jeff Warren (on Calm) who has this quirky style and different types of meditation. I’ve listened to so much Jeff I reckon I could pick his voice in a crowd!
Insight Timer is also a great app with a heap of more diverse material and leaders. And there are plenty of others too. Just try some and see how you go.
In terms of books, here are a couple of goodies:
Peak Mind by Amishi Jha is a great read, and a good Brene podcast episode.
Chatter by Ethan Kross is a good intro to the voices in your head! We also covered this on the Unlocking Great Books podcast.
Then there are the gurus if you want to explore more such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh and Shunryu Suzuki….
Takeaways
Give mindfulness a go - I think it is worth it
The habit is more important than how, where and what you do. 5-10 minutes is meaningful.
Every day is different. Good and bad. Practice.